Christmas Eve

At 1:40am presents were wrapped & tagged (forged creatively from Santa)... only bows to go. Who KNEW trying to peel the thin clear backings OFF of the Kirkland bow bottoms would be the most anxiety producing thing of the night??? My heart palpitations & shortness of breath increased off the charts. I'd get half of the clear plastic backing peeled off & it'd flick back down 5,6,7 times back onto the bow or the plastic piece would only peel 1/2 off jaggedly & I'd have to work harder to find the other stuck part. They weren't the easy 'peel off & slap on' chore I had expected. There it is again, that damn word, expect.

I guess everything would be better if I could just stop my brain from forming an expectation. Every day I fight the mental battle between accepting that everyone needs expectations to function in this world & trying to not have expectations so I'm not frustrated when they aren't met. I guess what rings true is that I could be happier in life's moments by slightly altering the expectations: Instead of "I want to be done by 1am" think "I'm going to work as fast as I can".... and then the KICKER IS I need to let GO of the results.

Finding my lavender eye mask & inhaling the aroma was the only solution for the result I got ending at 2:10am.